Italian Greetings: Ciao, Buongiorno and When to Use Lei

Italian greetings come down to two decisions: what time of day it is, and whether you are on tu or Lei terms with the person in front of you. Get those two right and the rest follows, because the verb you use next (come stai? or come sta?) depends on the same choice. This reference sets out the main greetings, the formal "you", the goodbyes, and a short sequence for a typical day.

Ciao is for people you would call tu

Ciao is the greeting most visitors already know, and Wikipedia's article on it gives two cautions. First, it means both hello and goodbye. Second, in Italy it is mainly used in informal contexts: among family members, relatives and friends, "those one would address with the familiar tu" rather than the courtesy form Lei. In those circles, Wikipedia adds, ciao can be the norm even in the morning or evening, where buongiorno or buonasera would feel too formal.

The word has a surprising history. Wikipedia traces it to the Venetian phrase s-ciào vostro, "(I am) your slave", a courtesy formula along the lines of "at your service", which lost its servile meaning as it shortened. It spread through northern Italy in the late 19th and early 20th centuries and then across the country.

Buongiorno, buonasera and buonanotte

For everyone you would not greet with ciao, use the time-of-day greetings.

Wiktionary lists buongiorno as "good day" and "good morning", and as "good afternoon" for the very early afternoon, with buon pomeriggio as a synonym there. It can also be written buon giorno. Buondì is a colloquial alternative.

The line between buongiorno and buonasera is the one that needs care. Wiktionary's usage note on buonasera says the division between pomeriggio (afternoon) and sera (evening) varies regionally: in much of Italy it falls around 5pm, but in the far south sera can also mean the afternoon, so buonasera may start earlier.

Salve looks like a handy all-purpose hello, and Wiktionary lists it as a synonym of ciao, buongiorno and buonasera, but it warns that it is not common as a greeting and is usually felt to be too stiff even on formal occasions.

When to switch to Lei

Italian has two ways to say "you" to one person. Wikipedia's Italian grammar article explains that tu is informal and Lei is formal, a form used since the Renaissance, much as German uses Sie and French vous. Wikipedia's article on the T–V distinction gives the verbs: speaking to someone with tu is dare del tu; with Lei, dare del Lei.

The grammar is the tricky part. Lei is pronounced the same as lei, "she", and takes third-person verbs, so the formal "how are you?" is literally "how is she?":

• informal: Ciao, Marco, come stai?
• formal: Buongiorno, signora, come sta?

Wiktionary lists come stai as the informal question and come sta as its formal synonym. Wikipedia adds that Lei is grammatically feminine whoever it refers to, but adjectives agree with the real person: to a man you say Lei è alto, "you are tall". In some regions, such as Campania, voi is still used as the formal singular. For a group, Wikipedia notes formal Loro is very rarely used in modern Italian; plain voi serves instead.

Italian verb conjugation basics covers the third-person forms that Lei borrows.